- Angels Watching Over Me!

So...I'm slowly getting better. To prove it, here is a list that will give you an idea as to what my life has been like lately....

Things I Am Allowed To Do:

Eat.

Sleep.

Watch TV.

Talk on the telephone.
Take naps with my cat Timmy.

Go for short walks.

Blog. Email. Text. Surf (as in, on computer, not on water).

Do exercises to help prevent 'frozen shoulder'.

As you can see, my days are jam-packed full of entertaining activities of various sorts. And just so you'll know what my life isn't like lately...

Things I Am NOT Allowed To Do or CANNOT Do:

Try new karate moves.

Move a piano.

Enjoy a normal social life.

Swim (especially the breast stroke).

Carry anything heavier than a five dollar bill.

Play tennis or badminton.

Breastfeed.

Ha ha! Just spoofing around! Er, I mean...I really can't do anything from that second list, but I'm just joking about being bored and frustrated....amazingly, I'm not. I'm at George's this week and he's taking really good care of me, for which I'm very grateful. He's a good cook and, unlike Anne S. (my buddy, friend and caregiver when I first got out of the hospital), George lets me eat chocolate. And ice cream. And anything I want (don't tell Anne S.)

What else? Oh, yeah....well, as you can imagine, I look at my chest every once in awhile in the mirror, and I have to say that, while I think my doctor is a very nice man and I like him, I don't think he did a very good job with my surgery. Of course, I know it hasn't been very long since the operation (just over three weeks), and things are still healing, but....well, the scars are simply not symmetrical.

Also, some fat got left behind on the sides, kinda near my underarms. I guess it wasn't technically in "the zone" so the doc figured he'd leave it there (okay, do me a favor and try not to picture this - especially you men who are reading). As a result, I've got some very interesting bulgy bits (yes, that's a word - I checked it out on dictionary.com). Ewww.

Now, as I've said before, many of you have told me you are amazed at my attitude, my joy, and my ability to deal with all the stuff I've been going through. I really appreciate those comments - they encourage me a lot and help me feel like I'm doing something right! I joined another site yesterday called "BlogHer", a blogging site for women, and I've heard back from a couple of gals already who told me I have a "great spirit", quote/unquote.

Gee, thanks, everybody! But I honestly can't take much of the credit. Yes, I've made some choices not to let the cancer get me down, nor the chemo, if I end up having to go through that. Although I possess a strong character and I have made some good decisions, I also must acknowledge that somehow, through all of this, I have been infused with peace in the midst of a storm, which is a real gift.

I find I've also been given the strength to refuse to allow the way my body looks define who I am, or reduce my sense of femininity in any way. I have had TONS of prayer - I think at one point, I was on the prayer list of no less than ten congregations and groups, and it would be foolish on my part to say I thought all that support had little or no effect on how I'm dealing with this.

Here's some excerpts from the New Testament part of the Bible (found in one of its books called "Romans"):

"Can anything ever separate us from Christ's love? Does it mean He no longer loves us if we have trouble or calamity....? No, despite all these things, overwhelming victory is ours....and I am convinced that nothing can ever separate us from God's love. Neither death nor life...neither our fears for today nor our worries about tomorrow...no power in the sky above or in the earth below - indeed, nothing in all creation will ever be able to separate us from the love of God that is revealed in Christ Jesus our Lord."

Well, I dunno about you, but I just find those verses very encouraging. I know some of you reading this blog may have your doubts about whether or not God exists, or if you think maybe He does exist, you wonder why He allows suffering, not only in poor countries, but in our lives, especially when we're doing our darnedest to behave ourselves and to do what's right. 

That's gotta be the most difficult question in the world there is about God, but I think I can answer it in a single sentence: I have absolutely no idea. And I probably never will. If you'd like to check out one explanation on the web, though, try this: 
http://www.everystudent.com/journeys/why.html

And yet....I choose to believe. But more about that another day. I'm going to go and do TWO of the things on my Things I Am Allowed To Do list. I am going to eat. And I am going to watch TV. Good night!

Angels Watching Over Me    Amy Grant

"Take this man to prison," the man heard Herod say,
And then four squads of soldiers came and carried him away.
Chained up between two watchmen, Peter tried to sleep,
But beyond the walls an endless prayer was lifting for his keep.
Then a light cut through the darkness of a lonely prison cell,
And the chains that bound the man of God just opened up and fell,
And running to his people before the break of day,
There was only one thing on his mind, only one thing to say:

Chorus:
Angels watching over me, every move I make,
Angels watching over me!
Angels watching over me, every step I take,
Angels watching over me!

God only knows the times my life was threatened just today
A reckless car ran out of gas before it ran my way
Near misses all around me, accidents unknown,
Though I never see with human eyes the hands that lead me home.
But I know they're all around me all day and through the night.
When the enemy is closing in, I know sometimes they fight
To keep my feet from falling, I'll never turn away.
If you're asking what's protecting me then you're gonna hear me say:

Chorus:
Got His angels watching over me, every move I make,
Angles watching over me!
Angels watching over me, every step I take,
Angels watching over me....

Angels watching over me....
Angels watching over me.

Got His angels watching over me, every move I make,
Angels watching over me!
Angels watching over me, every step I take,
Angels watching over me!

Chorus:
Angels watching over me,
Angels watching over me,
Angels watching over me,
Angels watching over me!

Though I never see with human eyes the hands that lead me home....