Whoa, what a heavy topic. It's basically a continuation or a follow-up of the posting from December 13, "Blessed Be Your Name", where I discussed the subject of suffering being a deterrent for many believing in God.
Can anything good be said about suffering? Is suggesting good can be found in suffering merely a Pollyanna concept? Is there anything about suffering that is...well, redeeming?
Why don't we start by just saying it like it is: suffering is just one of those unfortunate experiences that happens to everyone on the planet. It's like the flu, actually, isn't it? Nobody wants it, nobody goes out looking to catch it, nobody's happy when it hits them, but it's just a reality.
Flu hits men, women and children and it hits the poor, middle-class and wealthy. It's not all that complex a sickness, yet there's no vaccine guaranteed to keep it away, and every year, if I understand correctly, it comes in varieties so diverse, medical people have to basically guess at which vaccine to administer in order to try and protect the largest amount of the population they can.
Likewise, what strikes me about suffering is that there's absolutely nothing anyone can do to insulate themselves against it, no matter what kind of riches or prestige or position an individual may possess. I guess in that way, suffering is kind of impartial, because it affects everyone equally, if that makes any sense.
"Money doesn't buy happiness", we've all heard. Well, I say money beats poverty hands down any day. I've had periods in my life where I've had both money and lack of money, and I'd choose money over no money any day.
That being said, while money certainly can make life flow much more smoothly, and bring tons more opportunities along your way, it's still true that it doesn't guarantee or buy happiness. And it can't buy your way out of suffering.
There are so many categories of suffering that, lest you think you can figure out ways to outrun suffering, I think it's very likely that if one category doesn't catch up to you, you'll run headlong into another category entirely!
For example, say you've heard nightmarish stories about being married. Every person you seem to meet is unhappily married, so you say to yourself, "Aha! I'll remain single!" But then as life progresses, you may, in fact, find that you are a very unhappy single person, and you may feel that your decision to remain unmarried is betraying you.
Now of course, I realize I'm skating on thin ice, here. Some of you have had to endure terrible things; awful things. Bodies wracked with pain. Experiences you had to endure as a child growing up. Finances that are crippling and crushing. Unfaithful spouses. Children who've just about broken your marriage in two by what they've done to your family. I know, my friend, I know. I'm not saying these things lightly, even if in this writing, I am trying to be a wee bit lighthearted in order to deal with a very painful subject.
What I'm trying to communicate in all of this is that because I do believe that suffering is inevitable, I am suggesting we may as well embrace it as best we can and figure out an approach that will allow us to walk through it with a sound mind, an open spirit, and a heart that manages to not get ripped apart by life's cruelties.
Simply put, no matter what decisions we make in life, and no matter how clever we are about trying to outrun it, suffering will be present somewhere in all of our lives, Doesn't it follow, then, that we need a framework within our thinking preparing us to receive suffering with grace and with dignity, rather than with hostility, terror and mental anguish?
One of the most surprising things I heard in our Newly Diagnosed Breast Cancer support group was the declaration by several women that cancer had made them better people. Initially, it struck me as very Suzy Sunshine; almost artificial, as though individuals couldn't quite wrap their minds around something awful, so they'd found a way to pretend it was a good thing. But I guess it's all in your perspective, isn't it?
Turns out, cancer can be a blessing, depending on how you choose to look at things. A serious illness is a wake-up call; a chance to re-evaluate your life before your time here on earth is up. It's a chance to do what you need to do now, instead of allowing that risky procrastination to sneak into your life when you're not looking, robbing you of valuable years and fruitfulness and productivity.
Cancer gives you the nudge - no, the erupting volcano you need to shake you up, to start prioritizing, discard what isn't valuable, and determine that never again will you take your time or your life for granted. And thats not such a bad thing, now, is it?
Is it worth getting cancer to learn that lesson? I have a hunch it might be. This is the most productive I've felt in a long time, I can tell you. I am living very intentionally, even if it looks like I'm goofing around and making jokes half the time. I am very careful with my time, now. I have no idea how much longer I'll be around, and I'm not being the Drama Queen right this minute as I say this...I could beat this cancer in the long run, or I could lose - I don't know.
Anyways, for those of you who are hurting, may I encourage you to look up...to believe that maybe...just maybe...there is a bright side to what you are going through? Take heart, fellow warrior....
May hope and peace be yours in abundance today as you fight the good fight, and may you find some ray of hope that enables you to stay in the battle.
God bless you,
Love, Wendy
Can anything good be said about suffering? Is suggesting good can be found in suffering merely a Pollyanna concept? Is there anything about suffering that is...well, redeeming?
Why don't we start by just saying it like it is: suffering is just one of those unfortunate experiences that happens to everyone on the planet. It's like the flu, actually, isn't it? Nobody wants it, nobody goes out looking to catch it, nobody's happy when it hits them, but it's just a reality.
Flu hits men, women and children and it hits the poor, middle-class and wealthy. It's not all that complex a sickness, yet there's no vaccine guaranteed to keep it away, and every year, if I understand correctly, it comes in varieties so diverse, medical people have to basically guess at which vaccine to administer in order to try and protect the largest amount of the population they can.Likewise, what strikes me about suffering is that there's absolutely nothing anyone can do to insulate themselves against it, no matter what kind of riches or prestige or position an individual may possess. I guess in that way, suffering is kind of impartial, because it affects everyone equally, if that makes any sense.
"Money doesn't buy happiness", we've all heard. Well, I say money beats poverty hands down any day. I've had periods in my life where I've had both money and lack of money, and I'd choose money over no money any day.That being said, while money certainly can make life flow much more smoothly, and bring tons more opportunities along your way, it's still true that it doesn't guarantee or buy happiness. And it can't buy your way out of suffering.
There are so many categories of suffering that, lest you think you can figure out ways to outrun suffering, I think it's very likely that if one category doesn't catch up to you, you'll run headlong into another category entirely!
For example, say you've heard nightmarish stories about being married. Every person you seem to meet is unhappily married, so you say to yourself, "Aha! I'll remain single!" But then as life progresses, you may, in fact, find that you are a very unhappy single person, and you may feel that your decision to remain unmarried is betraying you.
Or perhaps you decide being single is the worst possible scenario because all around you, you see guys and gals unhappy in their singleness, and so you grab the first one who comes along and marry him/her, only to discover, down the road, that maybe it's not such a good match you've got yourself there, that marriage is lots of hard work, and that there are some days when singleness looks mighty fine from your perspective.
You see? Suffering is very tricky in that way. You can't usually outrun it, because it's very smart. It will figure out a plan for you, and it will catch up to you. How do ya like them crackers, eh? Do I hear an 'amen' from the choir?
But what if we didn't ever try to outrun it? What if we saw suffering as an inevitability to be embraced; a force that had the potential to mold us into more rounded human beings...a strange kind of gift that looks dark and foreboding on the outside, yet when unwrapped, can contain all kinds of unexpected benefits?
What I'm trying to communicate in all of this is that because I do believe that suffering is inevitable, I am suggesting we may as well embrace it as best we can and figure out an approach that will allow us to walk through it with a sound mind, an open spirit, and a heart that manages to not get ripped apart by life's cruelties.
Simply put, no matter what decisions we make in life, and no matter how clever we are about trying to outrun it, suffering will be present somewhere in all of our lives, Doesn't it follow, then, that we need a framework within our thinking preparing us to receive suffering with grace and with dignity, rather than with hostility, terror and mental anguish?
One of the most surprising things I heard in our Newly Diagnosed Breast Cancer support group was the declaration by several women that cancer had made them better people. Initially, it struck me as very Suzy Sunshine; almost artificial, as though individuals couldn't quite wrap their minds around something awful, so they'd found a way to pretend it was a good thing. But I guess it's all in your perspective, isn't it?Turns out, cancer can be a blessing, depending on how you choose to look at things. A serious illness is a wake-up call; a chance to re-evaluate your life before your time here on earth is up. It's a chance to do what you need to do now, instead of allowing that risky procrastination to sneak into your life when you're not looking, robbing you of valuable years and fruitfulness and productivity.
Cancer gives you the nudge - no, the erupting volcano you need to shake you up, to start prioritizing, discard what isn't valuable, and determine that never again will you take your time or your life for granted. And thats not such a bad thing, now, is it?
Is it worth getting cancer to learn that lesson? I have a hunch it might be. This is the most productive I've felt in a long time, I can tell you. I am living very intentionally, even if it looks like I'm goofing around and making jokes half the time. I am very careful with my time, now. I have no idea how much longer I'll be around, and I'm not being the Drama Queen right this minute as I say this...I could beat this cancer in the long run, or I could lose - I don't know.
Anyways, for those of you who are hurting, may I encourage you to look up...to believe that maybe...just maybe...there is a bright side to what you are going through? Take heart, fellow warrior....
May hope and peace be yours in abundance today as you fight the good fight, and may you find some ray of hope that enables you to stay in the battle.
God bless you,
Love, Wendy
You're right when you say there might be a positive side to cancer, even though nobody would ever want it to afflict them. I developed a much closer friendship with my dear friend Diane after she received her diagnosis of breast cancer. I spent every spare minute with her, even though in the past neither of us seemed to find the time to get together more than once a month. In a sense, her cancer was a blessing in addition to being a curse. We spoke on the phone every day, sometimes for hours. I would visit her at least three times a week. She told me she loved me for the first time after a 35-year friendship. We were closer during her cancer odyssey than we had ever been before. I feel enriched to have known her and to have learned more about her during that very difficult time in her life.
ReplyDeleteHi Wendy,
ReplyDeleteWell, I never thought of suffering as any kind of gift - believe me. I do come from a broken family kind of situation and it has not made me stronger by any means. I do agree with you though that money does not buy happiness. Now that I am financially secure, I am less happy than I was beforehand due to other factors that are not financial - interesting and mysterious how life is.
I also agree that some married people wish to be single and vice versa. Anyways, lots to think here which is a great thing............seems you are feeling slightly better today to have broached this subject???
Hi Wendy. :)
ReplyDeleteIt's funny how suffering can bring into perspective the really important things in life vs the not so important. In my life, it has usually been about the " things I possess ", you know, the bright and shiny baubles that we tend to try to accumulate over time, then all of a sudden you might have one ( or maybe more )life altering event that changes your perspective on what is really important...and all of a suddden all of your bright little baubles start to lose their luster just a bit. My disease has most decidedly shifted my focus and direction.
Lew
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