- Cassie Bernall

Cassie Bernall was like many other young teenage girls. She was experimenting  with things in life, and started hanging out with a bad crowd; smoking pot; even dabbling in witchcraft.

Her parents were at their wits' end as to how to curb her self-destructive behavior, but they knew something needed to be done; they were losing their precious daughter. 

When they discovered her journal describing fantasies of killing her parents, they knew they had to do something pretty radical. They immediately pulled her out of her high school and enrolled her in a private Christian academy. 

They attempted to limit her contact with her former friends and started monitoring every step she took. It wasn’t easy – Cassie fought them every step of the way. 

Finally, Brad and Misty Bernall sold the house they’d lived in for years to get Cassie away from the kids who continued to harass the family. With love and determination, they were finally able to help her see she’d been heading in the wrong direction.

The backyard of the new house they relocated their family to, in order to protect Cassie, bordered Columbine High School. Their kitchen window faced the library.

Cassie joined her church’s youth group and made new friends, and one weekend at a youth retreat, she turned her life over to God, vowing to change her direction in life. Her parents rejoiced to see that they were finally getting their daughter back.

April 20, 1999: Cassie and a friend were at school, studying alone together in the back of the library, when two armed teenage boys walked in and began shooting. The girls crouched beneath a table together, and Cassie began praying aloud: "Dear God, dear God. Why is this happening? I just want to go home." 

Suddenly, one of the young men slammed his hand on the table, yelled "Peekaboo," and looked underneath. He shot Cassie without saying a word, killing her instantly.

The horrors of the Columbine High School massacre in Littleton, Colorado were unfolding.

"The next thirty-six hours were pure hell," writes Misty Bernall. "Hundreds of desperate parents and relatives, police officers, bomb squads, reporters and onlookers had already descended on the area around the school...."

"It's a mom thing," she said later in a TV interview, her face contorted with grief: "you just want to keep them warm." Because police were concerned that the school had possibly been rigged with bombs, Cassie's body had to be left in the library overnight, only to be removed the next morning.

In all, twelve students and one teacher were killed, with twenty-one students injured directly and another three students injured while attempting to escape. The two young gunmen also committed suicide. It is the fourth-deadliest school massacre in United States history.

Initially, Cassie was hailed as a Christian martyr. The story circling the globe at that time was that the young gunman had asked, "Do you believe in God?" and that Cassie had replied, "Yes. I believe." Her mother went on to write a book entitled, "She Said Yes".

Further reports, though, stated that this was a mistake; that in fact, the question had been posed to another student, Valeen Schnurr, not to Cassie Bernall. Valeen replied in the affirmative, and the gunman walked away without injuring her.

Despite its glitches, though, the story still intrigues me because of the subsequent song and video written about Cassie's life. Michael W. Smith wrote "This Is Your Time", based on the initial reports that she had said "yes" when asked by the gunman if she believed in God.

Misunderstandings aside, it is simply a very touching song; a gift from the heart of a musician to Cassie's parents and to all who knew her.

I suppose what strikes me most about the song, for obvious reasons, is the brevity of life; its unpredictability; its uncertainty. One minute we are alive, and the next, we are not.

For some of us, dying is a process, a reckoning with our immortality. For others, dying comes in an instant, with no warning nor fanfare. It comes to our door unannounced, barges its way into the room, and does its work. It is that quick.

This morning, around 1:30 am, my cousin Sherry died of cancer. She had been diagnosed many months ago with bladder cancer. Many of you know hers was the ninth cancer in our small family circle (mine is the tenth).

I got up at 4 am to go to the bathroom, checked my email on my Palm, and discovered she had passed. I'd called her last Sunday to chat, but she was sleeping, and I never called back, figuring she had several more months to live.

It makes me so sad. For a few hours, it discouraged me, knowing that I'm the only one  in our family still living with a diagnosis of cancer. All the others are now gone. But then George pointed out that my mother, my aunt, my cousin Sherry, and my dad were all over seventy when they died.

So who knows? Maybe death is not quite at my door yet.

Just a footnote to this beautiful video: as Michael was working on "This Is Your Time", he kept feeling something was missing - a concept, an instrument...something. He finally added bagpipes into the instrumental track, and called Cassie's mom to tell her.

Misty Bernall was stunned. Without knowing it, Michael had added Cassie's favorite instrument; in fact, the bagpipers practiced regularly in the football field behind Columbine High School, where Cassie could watch them from her backyard and hear their sounds with crystal clarity. A fitting tribute to be included in her song.

Also note: towards the end of "This Is Your Time", the clock and watch show the exact time Cassie was murdered that day in Columbine High School library - 11:25 a.m.

To view video, click here: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lgX0tghvz4A 

Scroll down to see lyrics.

Here's the story behind the song,
along with a live performance by Michael W. Smith:

This Is Your Time     Wes King, Michael W. Smith

It was a test we could all hope to pass
But none of us would want to take
Faced with the choice to deny God and live,
For her, there was one choice to make

This was her time, this was her dance
She lived every moment; left nothing to chance
She swam in the sea; drank of the deep;
Embraced the mystery of all she could be
This was her time...

Though you are mourning and grieving your loss
Death died a long time ago;
Swallowed in life so that life carries on
Still it's so hard to let go

This was her time, this was her dance
She lived every moment; left nothing to chance
She swam in the sea; drank of the deep;
Embraced the mystery of all she could be

What if tomorrow, and what if today,
Faced with the question,
Oh, what would you say?

This is your time, this is your dance
Live every moment, leave nothing to chance
Swim in the sea, drink of the deep
Follow the mercy and hear yourself pray...

Won't you save me?
Won't you save me?

This is your time, this is your dance
Live every moment, leave nothing to chance
Swim in the sea, drink of the deep
Embrace the mystery of all you can be

This is your time, this is your dance
Live every moment, leave nothing to chance
Swim in the sea, drink of the deep
Embrace the mystery of all you can be

This is your time...

Michael W. Smith's website:

http://www.michaelwsmith.com/