Tuesday, March 2, 2010

- The Curse Of More (More To This Life)


"Man's reach exceeds his grasp."

Q: What's the difference between the man who has twelve children and the man who has a million dollars?
A: The man with twelve children doesn't want more!

I recently saw a television interview with Michael Buble, who is arguably one of the most successful singers on the planet right now. To date, he's sold around 20 million albums worldwide.

Buble told the interviewer that there was a point in his career a few years ago where he found out how many albums he'd sold thus far. He said he'd always thought when he reached that particular pinnacle of his career, he would be satisfied that he'd "made it". But in fact, when he arrived at that point, he said he was taken aback to discover that it wasn't enough . . . he wanted more.

And there we have it . . . the curse of more. The curse of never enough.

"We are stripped bare by the curse of plenty."

Yup, if we're Westerners, we're surrounded by materialism. It's part of what makes our nations economically strong, but it can make us SO emotionally, morally and spiritually compromised.

A few years ago, I volunteered to teach English as a Second Language here in Montreal, and I had the joy of interacting with immigrants from various parts of the world. One thing several of them told me that I found so striking was that they came to Canada thinking it was a kind of utopia - at least, that's how our fair country had been portrayed by those persuading them to come here.

In many ways, I suppose we are a utopia of sorts. We've never had a major war on our own soil . . . we live, for the most part, in peace, not violated by enemies, not living in fear of attacks, not really attracting much attention from anyone. We're peaceful people who like to do our own thing and mind our own business. We just want to be nice.

And yet, a couple of my English students told me of the very strange experience of riding on our subway and looking at people's faces, or walking down our streets and examining passersby. The students told me how surprised they were to see empty, unhappy looks on so many faces. They told me that they'd imagined people who live in Canada would be so happy, so content. I mean, after all, we've got it all, don't we?

And my students also related to me the disconcerting experience of walking down the hall of their apartment buildings and greeting their neighbors, only to be met with stony silence.

Now, I know that some of us are very friendly to others, so I'm not making a blanket statement here, but I think we could admit that, especially here, living in the largest city in the province of Quebec, people are very guarded in their day-to-day dealings with others.

We aren't necessarily winning any "friendly to stranger" awards.

Maybe part of it is self- preservation - guarding ourselves from people who may have ulterior motives or want to strike up a conversation because they're planning something sinister against us. Maybe some of it is the language issue - we don't interface well with those we don't know because what if we strike up a conversation and find out they speak French, and we aren't all that bilingual (or vice-versa)?

But I think, above all, what deeply affects a society is the curse of "more". Once a society lends itself to consumerism, accumulation of items, and pursuit up the career ladder, let's face it: there just isn't a whole lot of room left over for relationships. Or at least, we may tend to put relationships on the back burner so that we can devote more of our time to more.

















Many of my immigrant students, for the most part, were and are experiencing overwhelmingly loneliness here in Canada. They did not feel embraced by nor integrated with home-grown Canadians, but (lest we say "then just go home if you don't like it here!") they'd spent large amounts of money to come to Canada and it seemed foolish to pack up and return to their native countries.

For many of them, Sundays were visiting days in their countries, where virtually everyone visited parents, spent time with families, and enjoyed each others' company. We Canadians used to be like that...before Sunday shopping, and kids' hockey practices, and dance lessons, and cleaning the house, and...

It's a sadness that I feel for our country, our nation, and a warning I always want to give to others who envy us and our way of life. I feel like shaking them and saying, "Don't copy us!! Don't!! You don't realize the price of material success! It will cost you valuable relationships and closeness with others and time with your families! Don't make the same mistakes we did!!"

I realize many of us still have the same family values and have not compromised their relationship connections for "more". But I also see orphaned children & teens living in large houses, completely disconnected from their parents due to "more". And I see lonely adults, both immigrant and home-grown, who have little if any family ties, and I think much of it is due to "more".

So what are we to do? Look around you and see if there are any orphans in your midst. Try to embrace them; to draw them into your family. See if you can extend the arm of friendship to people who are alone.

And personally, for me, it means not forgetting my relationship with God, with spiritual things. It means reaching out to others; being willing to share His love & His life with them. To show them I care and I want to connect with them.

When we do these acts of kindness, we turn our backs, even if only for a few minutes, on the curse of "more".

_________________________________________________________

This is one of my favorite songs by Stephen Curtis Chapman, who is a Contemporary  Christian musician. After starting his career in the late 1980s as a songwriter, Chapman has turned into one of the most prolific singers in the genre, releasing more than 20 albums to this date. Chapman has also won five  Grammy awards & 56 Gospel Music Association Dove Awards, more than any other artist in history.

What I love about Stephen is that he is also a vocal advocate for adoption, along with his wife Mary Beth. Together, they have adopted three children from China and have started a charity organization called Show Hope (formerly called Shaohannah's Hope), that mobilizes individuals and communities to care for orphans through its international orphan care work, as well as adoption aid grants to help put more orphans from overseas and the U.S. in loving, forever families.

In 2009, Show Hope finished building Maria's Big House of Hope, a medical care center in China that provides holistic care to orphans with special needs. (Source: Wikipedia)

So listen to Stephen's take on "More" . . .


More to This Life    by Steven Curtis Chapman

Today I watched in silence as people passed me by,
And I strained to see if there was something hidden in their eyes;
But they all looked at me as if to say
Life just goes on.

The old familiar story told in different ways,
Make the most of your own journey from the cradle to the grave;
Dream your dreams tomorrow because today
Life must go on.

CHORUS
But there’s more to this life than living and dying,
More than just trying to make it through the day;
More to this life, more than these eyes alone can see,
And there’s more than this life alone can be.

Tonight he lies in silence staring into space,
And looks for ways to make tomorrow better than today,
But in the morning light it looks the same;
Life just goes on.

He takes care of his family, he takes care of his work,
And every Sunday morning he takes his place at the church;
And somehow he still feels a need to search,
But life just goes on.
 
So where do we start to find every part
Of what makes this life complete;
If we turn our eyes to Jesus we’ll find
Life’s true beginning is there at the cross where He died.
He died to bring us . . .

10 comments:

  1. Wendy, you sure are prolific for having had more chemo yesterday! Are you reacting better this time?

    Cheers!

    Taf

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  2. Wow, can I relate to this! It is the same here in Vancouver - Perhaps the Olympics changed all of that temporarily which was nice.

    You are right on!

    Love,
    Ellie

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  3. Funny you should bring this topic up today....I was just thinking of that...I was reading a Deepak Chopra book and it made me open my eyes to alot of things...as you know, I teach yoga to children and my goal is to teach them to be grateful for what they have and not to base themselves on material things. At a young age, kids are obsessed with name brand items and it's so sad to see.
    My sister in law is Cuban and she too had the same reaction when she came here...driving in the car she would see people holding their heads, sad looks on their faces, yelling at the person sitting next to them and she would be bewildered. I remember her commenting on us having "everything" and yet, we were not happy...she eventually returned to Cuba be unable to live with the constant "wanting and needing" of our society. She preferred living with nothing than living with selfishness......

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  4. It's funny how during the Olympics everyone was welcoming because that is "more", but when everyone goes home, and everything is back to normal, people aren't as welcoming unless there is something spectacular going on. Or if someone said we're great people we put on an act just to make them believe.

    But you gave a great message, we have to learn to forget about "more" and lean towards those who need "more" which means: love kindness and stuff...

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  5. Wow...that was really good (what you wrote and the comments people have added).

    Some friends at church who arrived here from England a couple of years ago (and others at church who are also immigrants who have not been here for many years) have noticed the same thing. They are presently experiencing that in their very French environment near Mirabel (my friends barely speak English): no one replies when they say hello!

    I was quite surprised when I heard all their comments. They were not complaining, they were just surprised at this behaviour. I guess I'm just so used to it that it has become part of my life, I don't notice or think much about what you observed.

    Maybe because I do the same, to some extent...(I DO say hello to people who greet me, though!!! Sometimes, I even smile first! Yeah, yeah, little pat on the back! But there is SO much more to do that what I do is insignificant in comparison...)

    Jennifer

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  6. Hi Wendy,

    You sound strong and I enjoyed what you wrote. You sure are one talented lady.

    You probably know this, but I just found out today that people going thru cancer
    are invited for FREE, for a weekend of lectures, fun, etc.

    It is in Stowe, Vermont and if you say you would like to be in walking distance, you would stay in the Von Trapp family home. Just click on Stowe Hope and you can get the details.

    Take care,
    M.

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  7. This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.

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  8. what gets you "removed by a blog adminstrator."? did some people actually curse you out?
    "That @#K*9$%! Wendy and her nutty positivity..."

    call my curiosity?

    be well my love.

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  9. Ooh, ringtales, the suspense must be killing you! But honestly, it's really not as racy as people cursing me out.

    What happens is that some people email me their comments at my personal email address, rather than posting them here.

    SO...when I post their comments, I usually click "Anonymous" in the "Comment as" slot below.

    If I forget, however, I end up posting their comments under the heading "Wendy Farha says...", which doesn't look right - after all, I'm not commenting on my own blog, am I?

    So I delete that entry, since that's the only way I know how to do it, and I repaste the comments, this time remembering to click "Anonymous".

    Oh, good grief, is there any possible way you're going to understand this??? I mean, *I'm* confused, now....

    But there you have it - a perfectly good explanation, and no cursing involved.

    Hope this answers your probing question, ringtales. Here's looking at you, kid.

    Wendy

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  10. i'll bet there were other people wondering but afraid to ask, they were thinking "i wonder why wendy is removing so many posts? i better not ask or *i* may end up getting "removed by the administrator." and then with probably some quivering, they went on with their days.

    so it is good to know the problem is that you are a technoninny (it's an affectionate term george will tell you!) not that you are a critical admin master with a bunch of foul mouthed commentators. (do i need to put wink wink here?) ;-P

    Love reading your blog, keep up the GOOD work sister.

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